Ten Commandments for All Tanks
Nearly 2 months ago, Weryl posted the Ten Commandments for All DPS. Silly tanks. Their intellect is what? 12? Ha! My warlock’s Voidwalker has more intellect, and he’s made purely of shadow! And since I’ve done my time working with tanks (all my classes are the pure DPS variety. None of that hybrid nonsense here!), I figure I’ll share with you how we folks on the damage end would like you, our beloved meatshields, to operate.
I. Thou shalt never blame thy DPSers for a wipe. If thou must find blame that doth not reside firmly in thy mirror, it’s probably thy healers.
II. Thou shalt move thy big bad boss so thy melee DPS doth not stand in the AoE. We, thy melee DPS previously mentioned, doth hate having to stand in AoE to do our damage.
III. Thou shalt explain kill order before every run so thy DPSers know where to focus fire, lest we target the wrong big bad guy and pull aggro, thus necessitating blame upon thy healers for making us die.
IV. Thou shalt stop in between pulls to ensure thine DPS (and probably, thy healers too) have enough mana to enforce the wrath of God upon thine enemies.
V. Thou shalt not covet thy rogue’s sword. Ever.
VI. Thou shalt not complain that thy melee DPS should be behind thine enemy when thou has been running around thine enemy like a feline on catnip turning thine enemy hither and yon.
VII. Thou shalt make liberal use of Ready Checks to ensure thy DPS are, in fact, ready. Thine rogue’s poisons and thine warlock’s spellstones doth not apply themselves.
VIII. Thou shalt not be upset at thine over-eager DPS for hitting the big bad boss before thou hast established aggro. Instead, thou shalt heap praise upon thy DPS for courage under fire and promptly taunt thy big bad boss to hit upon thou instead.
IX. Thou shalt not allow thy big bad boss to whack upon the heads of thy DPS, lest thou wish to incur the anger of thy DPS. When thine DPS is angered, they shall hearth and be free.
X. Thou shalt smile when Recount data is shown upon death of big bad boss, for thy DPS hath done well.
Get to the Choppa!
Call in the Cavalry
Make It Count
The Plagueworks (10 player)
The Crimson Hall (10 player)
Heh, very creative list, Arrens. VIII was my favorite, but they all made me smile. <3
As much as I can sympathize with your very-eloquent list, my fellow Rogue, I have to play Mine Own Advocate a little…
For every wipe I’ve seen that was a direct result of a tank not generating enough threat (yes, it happens) or the healer not being leet enough to keep the tank alive (this happens too), I can say with great confidence I have witnessed possibly a dozen where the dps was going all-out and using abilities they had no need to use at the time… not that that is a bad thing… but for an inexperienced tank, that can mean bad things.
(I recall a mage who insisted on POM Pyro as his first spell in the rotation… tanking at the time, I asked him to stop doing it – not that I couldn’t handle the aggro, but more the fact that it was causing unnecessary skill use on my part at the beginning of the fight…
My vindication came in the form of absolutely no Mage gear dropping that run… meh heh heh.)
So… if teh DPS keep their threat under control and kill stuff in the correct kill order, most tanks won’t care about the rest.
But then… that’s just idle banter from one Rogue to another… =P
Oh… and Omen > Recount. Dead dps cause no damage.
@Aleathea –
Glad you enjoyed it.
@Blade – Shhh! It’s NEVER the DPS’ fault! That’s established firmly now in the first commandment! Therefore, it cannot be rescinded! (I keed, I keed. I too have seen my fair share of POM/Pyro mages going balls out before the tank has even finished marking. Maybe we can change this list to exclude mage DPS?
)
[...] find it necessary to instigate a healer’s point of view on the discussion at hand. Arrens at Through the Eyes of Death and Weryl at DPS Plate both posted their own versions of the Ten Commandments. I will now post the [...]
Tanking tends to get a little bit boring if your DPS aren’t doing a whole lot. While I certainly don’t appreciate them pulling agro off of me or grabbing it before I’m ready to take it from them, I do like to see the DPS put in an honest effort to pull them off of me.
Then I know for sure that the DPS are trying to fulfill their roles completely and not just taking it easy while I chew them all down.
And sorry, Recount > Omen. Both together is my preferred method though.
“I. Thou shalt never blame thy DPSers for a wipe. If thou must find blame that doth not reside firmly in thy mirror, it’s probably thy healers.”
Wait wait, what?
No!
Bad Arrens!
@Psynister – That’s my preferred method too and typically what I use, though, to be perfectly honest, I’ve never had Omen open when beating upon the face/back of big bad boss.
@Ambrosyne – Sorry, that’s how we roll here at Arrens, Inc.
With the stopping between pulls for mana & ready checks, I fear for how long a Naxx run tanks your guild.
Pulling makes people get ready, fast.
I also think you give far more credit to DPS then they necessarily deserve. DPS does cause wipes, from being focused incorrectly, or dying. DPS can chain Holy Wrath, fail to kill Malygos sparks, let the raid get overrun by adds (KT, Gothic, Grobulus, Gluth), or just plain ole hit the enrage timer (Thaddius, PW. And jacking aggro off the bat, and getting the raid breathed on / cleaved / ect is not acceptable behavior.
@Yakra – I do hope and pray you realize this is all just tongue-in-cheek. Yes, I know DPS has caused wipes. I’ve been the cause myself a time or two. Yes, I know too much waiting around makes things take a lot longer than necessary. Yes, I know ready checks aren’t essential for every single trash mob. This is just my way of poking fun at the non-DPS folks in the raid. Take it at face value.